Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
