I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is wine microwaveable?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
