Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
