I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize