Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
