Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
