Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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