We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
