I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
