So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize