Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
