I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
