She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
