I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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