5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
