Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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