I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize