You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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