so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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