i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
