I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
