i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this beer tastes like vomit already
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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