Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
