Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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