We're facebook friends in real life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
