Who did Billy Mays play for?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
