OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
