she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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