My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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