I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
