Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
