The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
