About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
