who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
