i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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