Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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