Whod you bang
Your face is a jimmy john
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The police scanner is talking about you again....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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