I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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