I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
