i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
