Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Are we still banned from the library?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize