just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
