I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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