Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
