WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
