ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
