You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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