the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
