I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
porn star boner night. come get it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
