Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
there is puke in my bra ... again
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