Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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