"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
