Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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