hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
