tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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